The Joy in Raising a Large Family

Over a year and a half ago, my husband and I received the joyous news that we were expecting twins. We have always had this dream that twins would be so great to have! Not too many husbands are wishful for twins, but my husband was always hopeful with each pregnancy.

 

When people first saw that I was pregnant when I was out alone, they would congratulate me on my "first" pregnancy, not knowing that I had four more children at home. The conversation would go as follows:

"Congratulations, you must be ready to have that baby," says stranger.

"Well, it's twins and I have three months to go," I would respond.

"What? Twins? You are going to have your hand's full," gasps the stranger with a shocked look on their face.

"Thanks, yes we have four others at home," I added on. Now, comes the jaw drop from the stranger and cricket sounds in the background.

(At 39 weeks preggo with twins)

Fast forward the time to now and what happens when I go out in public with children. Around me, I get every kind of comment from others. Sometimes, people are just naturally curious and other times, they are downright rude. I've had someone corner me at the dentist's office with comments about how I am contributing to the overpopulation of the earth. I've been asked if our family has a TV. I always get the questions such as, "Are they all yours?" and "Are you done now?" And I must get the comment, "Wow, your hands are full," at least three times in one outing. My children always hear the comments and sometimes, they are distasteful. For example, someone will ask me if they are all from the same father.  Worse yet, someone will make remarks about how my husband should get fixed or I should have my tubes tied.

Are my reproductive organs up for discussion with others? Absolutely not. Is it anyone else's business to pry into my personal life? No! And for the record, I am not just some pathetic woman taking orders from my husband. We are two that became one on our wedding day. We are following the calling He has for our lives. We enjoy raising the family He has given us. And no, we are not missing out on other things. This is the life for us. Furthermore, while it's not as common in today's society, it's something people insist on making comments on. It'd be easy for my to reply back rudely but then what am I teaching my children.

Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Romans 12:14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.

Matthew 15:14   But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.'

In my early years of parenting, I never thought I'd have six children. I remember wondering how a mom would go about having a large family when I was struggling with the first two that I had. Then, one day, God laid it on our hearts to have a large family. Through friends and from reading the Bible, we felt a strong call to follow God with His plans with our family. I truly believe that when you are convicted of something, you should seek wisdom and follow whatever it is God is calling a person to do.

Psalm 127:3-5 Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.  Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.

When my husband and I courted, we used to talk about how much fun it would be to have a large family. But it wasn't until after we had our third, that we felt like God had more in store for us. Families come in all kinds of sizes. For us, God was telling us to have more.

The most common words others say to me when they find out I have six are:

1.) "You must have a lot of patience."

2.) "Pregnancy must be easy for you."

3.) "I could never do what you do."

Usually, I explain that my patience runs dry just like any other person. Pregnancies are not easy and I experience sickness and other symptoms just the same. And finally, I don't do it without relying on God's strength. I could never do it alone either.

God calls each of us to different things in life. As a little girl, I always wanted to be a mom. I played it, imagined it, and hoped for it. Before I married my husband, I knew he was the perfect guy for me because he loved children as much as I did. As a father, he works hard, encourages each one, and is great about spending time with each one individually as well. We make a great team together and we enjoy what God has given us.

 

There will always be naysayers when you follow what God wants you to do. It's the enemy's way to discourage you and I am not interested in listening to his lies. There are always hurdles and even those close to you can be hurtful in the process. I truly want to live out my faith. Each new blessing God has given us brings us a greater amount of joy. They contribute to this earth a strength laid out for them by their Creator. On this journey through living a life of unspeakable joy, I refuse to be broken apart by the world around me. I will be face-to-face with Jesus someday and I want to raise a new generation to live in the world ready to carry on His message.

I never need to worry about what others might say about the existence of my children.  They are not an accident. They are not a mistake. They are a gift, a treasured gift. My heart explodes with the love and joy they bring to my life. It's amazing and I am thankful for each one.

Finding the Joy in Each Season of Life

My favorite season of the year is here! I LOVE FALL! I love pumpkin spice lattes, cooler weather, Fall wreaths, Thanksgiving, mums, soccer, and many other things. I love when people go around saying, "Happy Fall, Y'all!" I love being able to actually enjoy a hot cup of coffee in the morning and then not burning up after because it's hot outside. I love being able to wear sweaters and boots. When the evenings are crisp and cool, I love being outside. I prefer cooler weather over hot weather. I would rather live where it's colder than hotter. Yep, I know. Crazy!

Sometimes, the hardest part for me is when summer weather lingers on. It gets to October and it still feels hot outside. It takes my joy away, like seriously! As soon as it starts to really turn to Fall, I become a blissful person. We all have favorite seasons that we look forward to with the weather. I would definitely say mine is Fall.

 

(These are Fall sunsets from our neck of the woods. Yes, this brings me joy!)

 

 

But I want to reflect for a minute on how God gives us different seasons. Not only does He give us different seasons of weather, but also seasons of life. Some seasons are full of sadness, such as when there has been a loss. Some seasons are full of worry and anxiety. Some seasons are really great and a person feels on cloud nine. Just like the weather, we endure the hard seasons to get to the good seasons. We never stay in those brutal seasons forever, although it sometimes can feel that way. Sometimes those hard seasons last for years.

 

My husband and I are in a season of big changes for our family. More or less, I feel sad about leaving this wonderful home where I can admire God's creation on a day-to-day basis. Yet, there are other emotions I feel about the changes as well. Some days, I feel really excited for the future. Other days, I feel overwhelmed by all that we have to do to get to the next place we are going in our lives. I am exhausted and I begin to grow weary. I start to question how it will all work. But it's not up to me on how it all happens.

 

"I have gone before you and prepared a place for you. Do not worry. I have it all planned out." This is what I hear God telling me through this process of change. As exciting, crazy, and scary it is all at the same time, I just need to put my trust in Him 100%. It's funny how much we can worry ourselves about tomorrow when God has it all planned out for us already. So I come back to that realization and let go of my fears, which is what worry is all about anyway.

Romans 5:1-5 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

When I face those seasons where sadness, worry, anxiety, anger, frustrations, or pessimism starts to sink in, I need to remember that I am being tested. Things cannot be GREAT all of the time. If it were, we would never have any reason to rely on God. Have you ever noticed that when times are tough, we lean more on God? As soon as things get better, we feel great and our relationship with God gets thrown on the backburner. Sorry, God! It isn't intentional.

But then again, what is intentional? Is our sadness intentional? How about our hopelessness? Our emotions can be the real deal. It's how we handle those emotions that gets us to tomorrow. Never give up hope. Once we start losing that hope, we stop trusting God.

Hebrews 6:19-20 We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek.

I have lots of little ones here at home with me. Some days are peachy-keen and everyone is in a good mood. But low and behold, someone wakes up on the wrong side of the bed one morning and we have lots of bickering going on. My husband has a great word he uses for days that start out this way. He tells everyone that they need to "re-group." And we do! Sometimes, I pull everyone together and we talk about how the day started and how we can make it end better. We pray together as a family and wow, what a change!

Praying can be our best asset in those difficult seasons. Leaning on God and asking Him for changed hearts can really make a difference. When things are hard, I like to think of Job. I've always thought that the book of Job was one of the most challenging books of the Bible. Job suffered a great deal loosing his livestock, his family, and developing a skin illness. What I find so amazing about Job is that he never turns his back on God, even in the midst of all of his suffering.

Job 27:2-6 As surely as God lives, who has denied me justice, the Almighty, who has made me taste bitterness of soul, as long as I have life within me, the breath of God in my nostrils, my lips will not speak wickedness, and my tongue will utter no deceit. I will never admit you are in the right, till I die, I will not deny my integrity. I will maintain my righteousness and never let go of it; my conscience will not reproach me as long as I live.

Lord, when I go through the different seasons of life, I pray that my relationship with You grows. Help me be strong through my suffering like Job. Draw me close to You. I thank you, Lord, for both the good times and bad. I pray that I can remain joyful always, giving thanks even under he hard circumstances in life. I lift up the current situation of the persecuted Christians in the Middle East. Lord, lead them to a place where they can feel safe. I pray you provide for them the food, water, clothing, and places to sleep that are needed. I pray that they stay strong through their difficult circumstances and that you bring relief to them soon. Amen.

Avoiding False Prophets

In the early part of the fourth century, the early church was faced with dangerous heresies being taught by leaders within the church. Three heretics by the names of Arius, Apollinarius, and Eutyches began proclaiming false teachings about Christ. One of the most dangerous leaders, Arius, began teaching that Jesus was God's first creation. In short, he believed that Jesus was not fully God. Alexander of Constantinople publicly debated with Arius and called together the Council of Nicea. This council met in 325 with many men and they came to the conclusion that Jesus was fully God. The Nicene Creed reads:

"We believe in one God the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth, and of all things visible and invisible.

 

And in one Lord Jesus Christ, the only-begotten Son of God, begotten of the Father before all worlds, God of God, Light of Light, Very God of Very God, begotten, not made, being of one substance with the Father by whom all things were made; who for us men, and for our salvation, came down from heaven, and was incarnate by the Holy Spirit of the Virgin Mary, and was made man, and was crucified also for us under Pontius Pilate. He suffered and was buried, and the third day he rose again according to the Scriptures, and ascended into heaven, and sitteth on the right hand of the Father. And he shall come again with glory to judge both the quick and the dead, whose kingdom shall have no end.

 

And we believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord and Giver of Life, who proceedeth from the Father and the Son, who with the Father and the Son together is worshipped and glorified, who spoke by the prophets. And we believe one holy catholic and apostolic Church. We acknowledge one baptism for the remission of sins. And we look for the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come. Amen."

After the Nicene Creed was accomplished, several other Councils were held in debating the heretics of that time. Arius is known as one of the most dangerous as his ideas are still being used in even today's teachings. Jehovah Witnesses and other groups use part of the teachings of Arius in their beliefs. Modern day groups of people such as Jehovah Witnesses hold to the teachings that Jesus was created and is not eternal. Jehovah Witnesses and other groups of people believe that Jesus and God are not three in one but that Jesus is Michael the Archangel.

 

John 10:30 I and the Father are one.

 

Acts 7:59 While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit."

 

John 1:1-2 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.

 

John 1:14 The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

 

Apollinarius and Eutychus also taught things having to do with Christ's nature. Followers of Apollinarius believed that Christ was neither God nor man. Eutychus also taught against the church and challenged Leo the Great (aka Pope Leo I). In 451, the Council of Chalcedon was held gathering 600 bishops of that time. The Council came up with four decisions concerning the nature of Jesus. First, it was decided that Jesus was fully God (as declared with the Council of Nicea). Second, it was decided that Jesus was fully man. Third, Jesus was one person (not two). And fourth, that these things should not be blurred or mixed up.

It's important to understand church history as it sets believers up for understanding the importance of avoiding false prophets. At a time when Christianity was blooming through the Middle Ages, false teachers were among them. Today, we still have false teachings among us. We must be aware of those false prophets as they can lead us astray. Think of them as the "Big Bad Wolf" disguised as a sheep, ready to fool those not solid in their faith.

Proverbs 13:5 The righteous hate what is false.

Matthew 7:15 Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.

 

 

2 Peter 2:1-3 But there were also false prophets among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. They will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the sovereign lord who bough them- bringing swift destruction on themselves. Many will follow their shameful ways and will bring the way of truth into disrepute. In their greed these teachers will exploit you with stories they have made up. Their condemnation has long been hanging over them, and their destruction has not been sleeping.

We are clearly warned about following false prophets throughout the Bible. Some may be hard to recognize so we need to be wise in our discernment of what others teach. Just think of some of those heretics of today: Joel Osteen, Rob Bell, and Benny Hinn. They each have had large crowds of devoted followers. The most recent of them is Joel Osteen.

 

1 Timothy 6:3-10 If anyone teaches false doctrines and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching, he is conceited and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions, and constant friction between men of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain. But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

Osteen's money making empire from his mega-church has allowed him and his wife much power in the public eye. He sells books, preaches on tv, and pulls in the money. His wife recently said,“Realize that when we obey God, we’re not doing it for God… we’re doing it for ourselves. Do good for your own self. Do it because God wants you to be happy. When you come to church, when you worship Him, you’re not doing it for God, really — you’re doing it for yourself, because that’s what makes God happy. Amen?”

Joel Osteen himself has been outspoken about how when you are in favor of God, you get blessed by things like "the best parking-spot." He says, "I believe God’s favor is something intangible where you’ve got God’s blessings on your lives. I'm not saying it’s not a struggle, but you believe for good things. There are so many people who don’t expect anything good in life. They don’t expect to get breaks, they don’t expect to get promoted, they don’t expect anything positive. So I just try to get people to say, I believe if we expect God’s favor, if we declare it, if we thank him when we do see good things happening, then we’re going to see more of that." (Read more at http://www.beliefnet.com/Inspiration/Christian-Inspiration/2004/12/Expect-Gods-Favor-Interview-With-Joel-Osteen.aspx#WSVs4TbUl5p8dpSV.99) YIKES!!!

Think about it! He is saying that that you believe in God "for good things." This is not a trade-off, folks! God already gave us the best thing. He sent His one and only Son to die on the cross for our sins. Because of this, we have been forgiven, FOR ALL OF THE HORRIBLE, ROTTEN THINGS WE DO ON A DAY-TO-DAY BASIS. We don't believe so we can receive favor. This heretic jargon is nothing short of scary when people are following someone like Osteen.

We all need to do ourselves favors when it comes to knowing what to believe. Open your Bibles. What does Scripture have to say?

 

Matthew 24:4-8 Jesus answered: "Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name, claiming, 'I am the Christ, and will deceive many. You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains."

 

Matthew 24:24-25 For false Christs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and miracles to deceive even the elect- if that were possible. See, I have told you ahead of time.

 

John 1:10-13 He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God- children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God.

The Joy in Being Named by God

Currently, I've been studying one of my favorite books of the Bible, Ruth. I have been joining www.shereadstruth.com for their daily online Bible studies. Let me just say, I love it! It keeps me accountable at getting in my time with God each day. In the past, I'd start and then stop studies. What has helped is that I buy their study packs and since I spent the money, I also want to get my money's worth so I stick with it. Plus, let me tell you. The 8x10 prints that come with the study packs are amazing! I buy inexpensive frames for them and decorate my house with them. I love to decorate my house with scripture. My love for it comes from these verses in Deuteronomy.

Deuteronomy 6:5-9 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

In our study, we read about how Naomi changes her name to Mara which means bitter. Because of the current circumstances she was in with losing her husband and sons, she was in a grieving process. With her faithful daughter-in-law, Ruth, by her side, she heads back to her home of Bethlehem now that the famine was over. When they arrived, the women of the town were talking and asked if this was Naomi.

Ruth 1:19-21 So the two women went on until they came to Bethlehem. When they arrived in Bethlehem, the whole town was stirred because of them, and the women exclaimed, "Can this be Naomi?"

"Don't call me Naomi," she told them. "Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The Lord has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me."

Through the study that we did, we were reminded that circumstances may change but God doesn't. And so often, we give ourselves names based on our circumstances, not necessarily names that God would give us. So as part of a writing assignment, I am answering the below questions that go with this study.

Is there a discrepancy between the names by which Jesus calls you and the names you give yourself? So often, I give myself names that reflect my circumstances. It's true. I am guilty of naming myself:

• Failure for when I don't think I've done enough
• Awkward because I can be timid sometimes
• Crazy for when I have mood swings (as women, don't we all)
• Chicken for the things I'm afraid of
• Unlovable (sad, but so often I see it as true)
• Unworthy (another sad reality of something I've said and thought)
• Ugly (for the days I feel unattractive and play the comparison game)

But Jesus doesn't think these things about me. He calls me:

• His branch that bears fruit (John 15:5)
• His sheep (John 10:14)
• holy and dearly loved (Col. 3:12)
• a child of light (Ephesians 5:8)
• God's handiwork (Ephesians 2:10)
• Blessed (James 1:12)
• Chosen (Ephesians 1:4) (1 Peter 2:9)
• His disciple (Matthew 28:19-20)

And so much more...

It is time take out the "un" part of some of those words that I name myself. Instead of unlovable, I am loved. Instead of unworthy, I am good enough. Instead of undeserving, I am chosen. And most importantly, I am HIS!!!

Are there circumstances in your life to which you are giving undue power, power that rightfully—and in reality!—belongs to our sovereign God alone? In the past 3-4 years, my husband and I have been through a lot of hard circumstances. Between health problems, loosing people close to us, and lots of various changes, we were feeling overwhelmed. But as we look back, because of the way things have happened, we were blessed with twins, a wonderful home, having him around more (less time deployed), and a closer relationship with each other, not to mention with God. Sure, things have been hard. It's an understatement, really. But all the good God has blessed us with along the way was His reminder that He took care of us. It was His doing to give us those blessings and continue making sure we were able to eat, have a place to sleep, etc. He always provides! He always wants the best for our lives! He always loves us no matter what!

Sister, who names you today—your God or your circumstances? GOD!!! I have been slowly giving those feelings of negative self-worth or what society says of me over to God. It's refreshing. I have given up on allowing others to control my happiness and I've let go of those who bring me down. Life is dynamic. We don't know what will happen from one day to the next. All I can do is look to God for hope and a future. It is so amazing to let go and let God be in control of all things. I am choosing to be His no matter what.

The Joy Comes in the Morning

One of my favorite children's books is called Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst. The book goes through the day of a boy named Alexander who has a series of things happen that are "no good" in the eyes of a child. His brother gets the prize from the cereal box, his school lunch didn't have a dessert like his friend's lunches, and he gets into trouble for fighting with his siblings. So he keeps wishing he could move to Australia as if the problems of his life would be better there. The best line of the book comes at the end when it says, "Some days are like that.  Even in Australia."

How many of us have days like Alexander's day where we wish we could move somewhere or get a repeat?

Perhaps you woke up this morning with the coffee maker not working. You go to take a shower only to realize you forgot to buy shampoo and now you can't wash your hair. You end up with greasy hair for the day. You get dressed only to have your children banging on the bathroom door. You open it to find out your son dumped all the cereal out of the cereal box all over the floor. As you clean it, the dog won't stop barking to go outside. You finally get rounded up and out the door for the day. When you get to the park playdate, you turn around to realize one of your little ones forgot to put shoes on. You re-strap everyone into their car seats to return home to get the shoes and get a flat tire on your way home. And on and on it goes with all of the craziness.

As the day goes, you wish you could just escape to Hawaii with your husband to enjoy a vacation. Then it gets especially hard when you realize you won't be taking a vacation that year because of money or lack of vacation days from work. Sigh! You begin questioning why things are so tough that day. Why, God, why???

But folks, some days are like that, even in Hawaii (or Australia).

James 1:2-4 Consider it pure  joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

I love this series of verses. The author, James, doesn't say to consider it rottenness or misery to face trials. No. He says to consider it pure joy to face whatever trials you are going through. You could replace joy with some of it's synonyms. Consider it pure anticipation. Consider it pure bliss. Consider it pure delight.

Sure, James! You haven't been in my shoes. You aren't the one going through the loss of someone close to me. You aren't going through a terrible divorce. You aren't being laid off from a job.

In  the footnotes of my Bible, it says "the same Greek root lies behind the word 'trials' here and the word 'tempted" in vs. 13."

James 1:13-14 When tempted, no one should say "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is  tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed.

When we face trials and temptations throughout the day, how are we battling them? Are we spending enough time in prayer? How's your prayer life going? Are you looking the enemy straight in the eye and telling him, "No! I will not be tempted?"

Sometimes, our family will get to the end of the day and I will have nightly bedtime talks with my children. We talk about how that day may have been rough and perhaps, we did things we shouldn't have. We talk about how we may have said things we shouldn't have either. We devote time to prayer asking for forgiveness. Then, I remind them that tomorrow is a new day.

Lamentations 3:22-23 Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

I am so thankful God's love is never-ending nor is it unchangeable. I am so thankful that his compassions are new every morning. I love that we do get re-dos and a chance to start fresh. Allow yourself some grace and rejoice in the fact that we are forgiven. And when you wake up in the morning, stretch your arms out to God and say, "A new day is here. Thank you, Lord. The joy comes in the morning. I will start anew."

Older Women Teach the Younger Women

In my early days of parenting, I was apart of an organization called MOPS when we lived in Enid, OK. I was 2 years into my marriage when we welcomed our first blessing, a son named Hunter. We were far from my parents who lived in CA and friends I grew up with as well. Even though I had experience as a nanny, a teacher, and with my own siblings, there were lots of things still very new to me. I was blessed to have three wonderful women who were my Mentor Moms during my short time there. They taught me so much on how to love my children, how to love my husband, and how to run my household. They taught me about loving God and loving others as well.

Fast forward to 9 years later, we are back living in CA (but a whole new area) and I've been doing some online studies through www.shereadstruth.com. With six children, I don't have the time or chance to go to a Bible study at church. So this has been such a huge blessing to find this online community to study with each morning. This month, we studied the book of Titus. It was a great refresher course for me on learning how to live out life as a Christian. One set of verses we studied was about spiritual mentoring.

Titus 2:1, 3-5 You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. Teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

How is spiritual mothering already taking place in your community? Since we homeschool, I've been blessed to be apart of a wonderful co-op of families in our community. I would estimate there are probably anywhere between 35-40 families apart of it at the moment. What I've found so amazing is the older women who have counseled me along the way in homeschooling, raising children in this generation, etc. These women have had children who are older and been through my steps. They believe the same things as me and share the same passions about homeschooling, families, etc. This past year I took a break from the community when I delivered the twins. But I am planning on being apart of it again next year. This summer, I am going to the different activities through the group and I'm hoping to push myself at finding some more spiritual mentors in the group who can encourage me.

Has a godly woman influenced you in your growth in the Gospel, or has mentoring a young believer impacted your life? Yes, one wonderful friend of mine has been meeting with me every once in awhile and I always feel so encouraged after being around her. She is one of those amazing, joyful women who shares the same beliefs as me. Her children are teenagers and older with one getting ready to be married. I've been so blessed and encouraged by her friendship and influence over my life.

I also have the most amazing and wise mother. She is a missionary and also raised up five children. She is the greatest spiritual mentor in my life. I wish everyone could meet her and get to know her. She's that wonderful!!!

 How would you like to see Titus 2 shape your relationships moving forward? I would like to continue actively seeking out women who can spiritually mentor me as well as praying for my husband to find some men who can spiritually mentor him as well. I dream as well to be a mentor to others. It's something I'm passionate about and hope to do. When I have children grown, I would love to be a Mentor Mom for MOPS and lead things like Apples of Gold. I would even love to become a speaker/leader at homeschool conferences.

Here are some of my favorite-ever pieces of advice I've received from the mentors in my life:

1. Be sure to homeschool your children spiritually. Don't expect the church or others to do it. You are the one who needs to teach them about God.
2. Spend time doing daily devotionals with your children. Start with Proverbs and read through each one in accordance to each day. For example, today is June 13th so read Proverbs 13.
3. Pray with your husband and for your husband.
4. Do things with your husband even if you don't necessarily find it fun.  If they like going to a football game, go with them. If it's fishing on a boat, go with them. But also find things to do without them too. Find time to get together with friends just the same.
5. Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
6. Be willing to tell your children sorry when you make a mistake. If you were frustrated and yelled at your child, tell them that you are sorry. Parents make mistakes too. When they see that you are willing to apologize to them, they learn that to practice forgiveness and grace.
7. Set up boundaries early in your marriage. Set them up as husband/wife and with family members too.
8. Get a King-sized bed for when you are pregnant. Just trust me!
9. Don't put a TV in your room. Limit the need for technology in your home.
10. Store your treasures in heaven instead of on earth. Don't collect things in your home. Live on less and purchase less. Don't let things own you.

Foolish Arguments and Quarrels

Titus 3:9-11 But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him. You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.

The sun has risen and the day is new. The coffee is finished brewing so you pour yourself a cup of coffee. You grab your iPhone or log into the nearest computer. The first thing you do is log into Facebook and begin reading through the newsfeed.

Sandra Smith's status reads: "Why do people vaccinate their children? Don't they know what kinds of chemicals they are putting into their child's body? Just imagine what will happen when that child is older and they are suffering from disease that was caused by vaccines."

Below Sandra Smith's status is thirty comments filled with arguments for both sides of the vaccination issue. Christians and non-Christians alike are name-calling and putting each other down toward the opposing stance.

You read through the status and list of comments and then go back to your newsfeed. You continue down and read the next one.

Bob Frank's status reads: "Obamacare is beneficial for our country. Check this article out from Huffington Post on what it has done to help others (attached is the article)."

You read the article and then go back to read Bob Frank's comments on the article.

Bob Frank's Friend #1: "You fool! You care nothing about the future of this country and the way this new healthcare system has messed it up for those hardworking individuals.

Bob Frank's Friend #2: "You are an idiot. This is the best thing for everyone. Now, no one has to go without being taken care of."

Bob Frank's Friend #1: "It seems to me you know nothing of what the Founding Fathers did for our country. Time for you to hit the history books."

Bob Frank's Friend #3: "I agree with you, Friend #1. We must get back to how this country started. This new system of healthcare is socialism at it's finest."

And on and on it goes.

You scroll down the newsfeed some more. More posts on opinions. More people lashing out with their opinions and comments. What a depressing way to start the day! Is this the way to a joy-filled life? What is Paul teaching us about in Titus on foolish controversies and arguments?

Recently, I read this quote over a year ago about opinions. It said, " We live in an era in which it is important to have opinions. Not necessarily smart or original ones; almost any opinion will do as long as it's forcefully expressed. When it comes to opinions, we're all living in an intellectual Costco, where it's volume, volume, volume.

It wasn't that long ago that opinions were something carefully considered and weighed, so that they'd stand the test of time and reflect well on the author. Thinkers were like gourmet chefs laboring over an elaborate meal they wanted to be perfect. But today, opinions are like Big Macs- thrown together hastily, served by the billions and not very good for you. (Stephen Randall, Los Angeles Times)"

When I think about what Paul said about arguments and quarrels and read this quote about opinions, I am reminded that arguing and expressing opinions about everything is unnecessary. Paul tells us in verse 9, "these are unprofitable and useless." Do you feel as convicted as I do?

In an age of social media websites, blogs, and texting, it seems everyone has jumped on the argumentative bandwagon. We see a thread of opinions stated, jump on the bandwagon to argue our side, and prove nothing. Most often, the person who originally expressed their opinion feels one way and the person arguing back feels the other way. Is this wise? Does this make us feel better about ourselves? Are we getting anywhere by trying to prove a point?

Paul advises us to warn that person arguing and then "have nothing to do with them." Wow! Do we get up and walk away from the argument or continue on with it?

Many people have been asking me about my disappearance from Facebook. One of the main reasons for it is that I felt the need to get away from the arguing and quarreling of others. If we were face-to-face with one another, would we be having these same arguments? How about the mommy wars?

Proverbs 16:24 Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Proverbs 18:2 A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.

Proverbs 21:23 He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.

Solomon gives a lot of wisdom on how to control our mouths and our words. The Bible is filled with ways in which we need to speak. Search the back of your Bible in your concordance to find all the verses having to do with words, speech, your mouth, and tongue.

Ephesians 4:29, 32 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Father, You are Holy. You are good! Forgive me for speaking unkindly to others. Forgive me for the times I involved myself in unnecessary arguments with others. Help me to avoid those who bring me down and involve me in their gossip. Teach me to be blameless and pure. Fill me with your Spirit so that I can discern the times when there is a useless argument and avoid it. Help me to have grace on those who do not understand. Thank you Lord for all that you do to teach me through your Word. May I be good with my time. I want to be close to You and Your Word each day! Amen.

My absence from Facebook is helpful in avoiding the unnecessary arguments. My absence is also for spending less time focusing on me. I don't want to spend time focusing on who I am trying to impress or compare myself to on the internet. I don't want to find myself shaking a finger at people expressing their opinions or waste my time being bothered by the things that don't matter. I am pushing myself to develop and grow interpersonal relationships with others. I don't want to spend my days being an armchair activist. I want to complete the good work God has called me to do here on Earth.

My Aunt Terry is someone who is always smiling and happy. She is one of those joy-filled people who are great to be around. One day I asked her how she stays so happy.

She said, "I don't consume myself with the news. Those stories on a day-to-day basis are unhappy. I don't do Facebook. I spend time outside everyday. I surround myself with happy things."

So here's to no more days of waking up to arguments and news. Here's to days that start in the Word. Here's to making more efforts at building relationships with those who I'm close to and less time with the hundreds of people on Facebook who barely know me (or never see). Here's to surrounding myself with the people I am praying God will fill my life with to be an encouragement and support. Here's to separating myself from those who bring me down. 

My prayer for those reading this blog today is to remember to be careful with the words you post online. Be careful with the words, opinions, and arguments you say to others in person too. No more gossiping! No more time spent proving a point! Be less like the heretics of Paul's day who were trying to argue to death a point of small matter. At the same time, practice grace on those who aren't in the same place as you are in your walk with God. Practice grace on those who do like to spend their days in arguments and turn the other cheek to them. Go in grace and peace, my beloved friends!

Blessings,

Carrie Lynne

*** All names were made up for this blog! :-)