When We Learn to Trust in God

There is a freedom and joy found in giving your very heart to God trusting in His path for your life. It's not always easy to think about the unknowns, the what-ifs, and the surprises that may pop up along the way. Knowing that no matter what, He has your back and doesn't intend to leave you EVER, brings such a deep satisfaction with less worry attached.

My husband and I have always felt a desire to grow a large family. We've had so many critics and comments along the way. People don't always agree with the decision that is made when we have another child. I know not everyone is destined to have a large family. Some families are small and some are made up of adopted children. Sometimes, life throws a hurdle and having a family isn't possible for everyone. We don't know what the future holds for us, but what we do know is that He put this desire in our hearts to raise children for His kingdom.

Currently, I am expecting our seventh child. It may be that this is the last one. It may be that He desires us to have another in the future. Often times, I've felt a nudge to even adopt someday. As far as we are concerned, God will lead the way. We can't worry and wonder about tomorrow. Yet, we can listen to His voice and follow what He speaks to our hearts.

This last week, we received news that our newest son will have a bilateral cleft lip and possibly a cleft palate as well. The previous week, at our first ultrasound, we didn't know what all that would entail. After getting the confirmed diagnosis, we were actually filled with an unbelievable love for this child. We know our son will require many surgeries and may have issues with feeding or speech in the future. Our son appears to have healthy organs as of now. We are so thankful to our Almighty God for blessing us with a child in a family who will love him unconditionally.

After presenting the news to our other children, they were completely understanding about this minor detail. They have no fear for him but love that only siblings can share. They smile at the thought of another sibling and playmate.

Our home is never quiet and immaculate. But that doesn't matter. It's a home filled with love, friendship, and an environment where everyone learns from one another constantly. We do things differently and that's okay. We don't live the way of the world. Instead, we are reckless Christians seeking grace and mercy in a place longing for Jesus.  

There are days that are tiring and I long for five minutes without someone crying outside the bathroom door. There are days where it seems that someone is always getting hurt. Then there are days when there are countless hugs, uncontrollable laughs, and a joy so deep, it's profound. This is the freedom I love and desire. This is fulfillment that is possible when we can walk upon the waters.