The Movement of Unspeakable Joy

I have two favorite sayings that I try to apply to my life on a daily basis. The first one is, "Today is a good day to have a good day." The second one is, "If you smile at the world, the world smiles back." My favorite Bible verse is from 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 which says, "Be joyful always, pray continuously, and give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." This is my life verse and the one I strive to do each day.

Put these three all together and you've got what I call the "Unspeakable Joy Movement." This is where we take the hard, everyday things thrown our way and push through it with a joy that can only be made possible by knowing Jesus. It's a hope for things to come. It's a simple smile we give to that stranger we passed by in the store. It's the giggles heard from children over the simplest thing. It's the warm cup of coffee on a rainy day.

Joy can be found all around us. It's in the attitude we have despite the hard circumstances we face in life: debt, marriage issues, relationship problems, grief, health problems, etc. If we change our attitude, we can change our point-of-view. God doesn't tell us to be joyful sometimes, but always. Sure, it's not easy to do. There are days I am dead tired and just don't feel like smiling. That is the case for all of us. But I don't want to give the devil that satisfaction of being a grump because of this or that going on. Of course, I will fail along the way. We all do! But my hope is to encourage you today to give it all you've got to live life with unspeakable joy.

The more you do it, the better you feel. It's true! Don't believe me? Start out by smiling at the next person that you see. Then do something nice for someone. How did that make you feel? Great, right? So keep on at it and let's do this together.

(I am smiling right at you to get it started! Smiling is my favorite way to start the day!)

Here's something you can do today. Take a picture of something that brings you unspeakable joy and share it on social media. Use the hashtag #unspeakablejoymovement and let me see those things that make you happy.

Here's what brought me unspeakable joy today. It was a handwritten letter in the mail from one of my dearest friends. Anyone who knows me knows I love handwritten letters.

Do you need some encouragement today or can I pray for you? Email me at unspeakablejoymccoy@gmail.com. Send me your prayers requests and mailing addresses and I will send a note your way. Want to play Mail Tag? What is that, you ask? Go here to learn more: http://unspeakablejoymovement.blogspot.com/2015/07/tag-youre-it.html
 And here: http://unspeakablejoymovement.blogspot.com/2015/04/snail-mail-challenge.html

Don't forget to share your pictures today or any day of things that bring you Unspeakable Joy!

Also, don't forget to check out my fundraiser to help kids with cleft lip afford a great smile. Go here to see how you can help out and to learn more: http://unspeakablejoymovement.blogspot.com/2016/01/cleft-lip-and-palette-fundraiser.html

Cleft Lip and Palette Fundraiser

The past few weeks I have been picking my brain as I think of a way I can help others going through this experience of having a child born with a cleft lip and palette. I had heard of the Mia Moo Fund through Mia Robertson on Duck Dynasty. Mia Robertson was born with a bilateral cleft lip and palette just like our little Jonathan. Their stories are very similar, although; Mia's story is farther down the road than our own.

Her parents started a charity where people can donate money and the profits go to help those who can't afford the costs of the repairs of cleft lips and palettes. The money also goes to help spread awareness and research as little is known about the cause of it.

I decided to start this t-shirt fundraiser for this cause. I've designed two shirts available for youth through adult sizes. Both are for sale through February 8th and you can receive your shirts two weeks after that date around February 25th. The shirts ship directly to you from www.booster.com, which is a fundraising website. All the proceeds from the shirts will go directly towards the Mia Moo Fund.

In addition, if you would like, you can wear your shirts on the days Jonathan has his surgeries to show your support. If you are on Facebook or Instagram, you can use the hashtag #jonlukessmile while posting a picture of you or your family wearing it when Jonathan goes in to have his surgeries. Or you can email/text me a photo and I will be adding your pictures to an album I am making just for him. What love he will feel seeing all of you wearing those shirts in support of him. I will update you on when he has his first lip surgery, which will be around April 2016.

The t-shirts are $20 + shipping and are available at these two fundraiser links. Both designs can be purchased in adult and youth sizes. This is a great opportunity to teach your children about cleft lip and palette as well as letting them share about it with others. You may also make an extra donation towards this fundraiser when purchasing your shirt.

 Please share about this fundraiser on your Facebook and social media sites. Invite your friends and family to support this cause. I would love to sell 50 shirts at least of each design so we can bless another family needing help through this fund. You are welcome to email others this blog page as well. Thank you for your support and God bless!

To purchase the first shirt, go here: 
https://www.booster.com/mia-moo-fund

To purchase the second shirt, go here:

https://www.booster.com/raising-funds-for-cleft-awareness

To learn more about the Mia Moo Fund, go to http://www.miamoo.org/.

Exist

Yesterday I heard a fascinating story on an elevator ride down from a doctor's appointment. A man probably in his late forties was smiling very happily and said, "Coming from the maternity floor, huh?" I only said, "Yes." I was in a hurry to get back to the car as my appointment ended up being way late past the time it was scheduled at the gynecologist’s office. With a newborn being cared for by my mom, I knew I needed to get back with feedings and what-not. Besides, I had a million things to get home and take care of before the end of the day. These are all important excuses for keeping to myself, right?

But before I could casually face the front of the elevator signaling that I didn’t have time to talk with the stranger, he began. What he was about to share that morning was exactly what God intended for me to hear. He started with his story:

Oh, I remember those days of being on that floor with my wife giving birth and attending appointments. I am past that now. I was given a 3% chance to live until Christmas. I went in 7 weeks ago for a headache and ended up being rushed into emergency surgery on my brain in Atlanta. They found I had cancer all over my entire body. I am not supposed to be alive still. These are my final days and I just wait.

By now, my tender heart turned towards the man and said, “Well, God is not done with you yet. He is still writing your story.”

He continued, “Yeah, now I go to my appointments and do what I need to do. I never know if today will be my last.”

At that point, the elevator opened and out he flew quickly with a final goodbye. I was left shocked, speechless, and with lots of reflection on the whole incident as I made my way to the car. The attentive girl in me went back to that situation all afternoon over and over in my head. Why didn’t I stop to pray for him? He did have a cross around his neck that I noticed as he left the elevator. But does he know Jesus? Why didn’t I bring it up? Was I so much in a rush, a hurry that I couldn’t even spend more time being a listening ear? Why did the foolish girl in me not think about being more caring as I got on the elevator that day?

I couldn’t stop thinking about this situation and I still haven’t stopped. I wonder if he is alive now or if those were his final moments. I wonder at how he kept his happiness when things seemed so grim other than that he had hope for the things to come. I wonder a lot of things and then it hit me. Maybe that meeting in the elevator was meant more for me than for him. Perhaps, God arranged that meeting to help me grow. He must have meant it for me to realize that I cannot always rush through life. I need to stop and listen to those around me. I need to make it a point to greet others and reach out more to hear their stories.I need to exist in the present time.

Today may be it for us, you and me. We might be in our final days here on earth. We might never live to see tomorrow. We could walk outside and a car could run us over. Or we could pass away in our sleep from a heart attack. We don’t know. God has our days numbered in his book. He knows just how long we have here.

Shouldn’t we be spending it as if it’s our last? Or are we so much in a hurry waiting for tomorrow that we are wishing the day away? Maybe we are waiting for that paycheck to arrive or that vacation to start. Maybe we are waiting for that pregnancy to end or the baby years to get easier. Maybe we are waiting for that day we can take a nap. Whatever it is, stop! We don’t need to wait but to let time exist. Let’s let it exist so we can enjoy the present moments making them our best moments.

The next time we get on an elevator, greet someone passing through the entrance of a store, or exchange eye contact with the person passing us on our walk, let’s take the time to ask them how they are really doing in their life. Let’s stop and listen, even if that means we get back to what we were doing a little late. Let’s pray for that person and with them.

And even more, let’s stop wishing time to pass. It will not be better tomorrow. Whatever we are going through that is difficult or tiring is where we need to be at the moment. Even when our coffee cups run dry and our energy levels are depleted, it’s still good. Even when our heart aches for something or someone, it’s still good. Even when our money is tight, it’s still good. Even when we’ve been hurt by others with their words or we are experiencing real pain, it’s still good. There is no better time than now. Embrace it for what it is and make the most of our current surroundings. It’ll be okay. Just breathe and exist. 

It's All About that NAM

We began the process using the NAM (nasal alveolar molding) today with Jonathan. As we woke up and got ready to drive up to north Atlanta, there was a bit of excitement for him. Knowing that this process would improve his feedings, improve scarring after surgery, and start the beginning of the recovery of his cleft left us a bit anxious to get there. I was also nervous for how it would all go down as any mother would be for their child.

My parents came over to watch the other children at our home. We are so thankful they moved here close to us in Georgia for the purpose of being helping hands and involved grandparents in their lives. My mom snapped a photo of us on our way so we could get one last glimpse of the "before" of how Jonathan looked as God created him when he was formed. And in the car we went with our sweet wonder.

As we arrived at CHOA, we checked in and slumped down into the brightly-colored orange chairs in the big waiting room. The craniofacial clinic also shares the floor with an area for children with spina bifida, cerebral palsy, and epilepsy among other things. We see parents with their young ones waiting, entering, and leaving the room. The waiting room is quite a surreal thing as we all exchange knowing looks, kind smiles, with hearts pouring out for one another. I see a mother talking sweetly to her son of about 9 years old with cerebral palsy. I see two other mothers with cleft babies and a set of concerned grandparents. We all love our children and there is so much pulling of heart strings in the room. I get a bit teary-eyed as I think about how amazing each of these precious gifts are to the world and how even more amazing many of these mothers are for not deserting them.

When I prayed to the Lord last year, I asked him to break my heart for what breaks His. And you know what? He did! It did not break when I had a baby born with a cleft palate and lip. It broke when I thought about all the innocent children who are born and abandoned around the world. There are so many children who didn't ask for this but because they were born this way, mothers and fathers deserted them. Orphanages are filled with them and some of them are older children who have never had any treatment. This is what breaks my heart.

I hear God. I hear Him telling me that this is only the beginning. I've always wanted to adopt someday after having my own. Is this what He is calling me to in the future? When I looked around the internet at cleft lips and palettes before Jonathan was born so I could learn more, I saw many sites with babies and children waiting to be adopted with this very thing. I know it's not possible right now to adopt. But maybe, just maybe it will be someday.

Even so, my heart is broken for those left alone. My heart is broken for those without loving families there to support them as they go through the process of treatment. And I hope that we can all think about it and do something. Even if we can't adopt, we can do something and we should.

Now back to Jonathan's NAM insertion and fitting we will go. We were called back and met with Dr. Granger who will be Jonathan's orthodontist. He will see him all the way through to adulthood insuring Jonathan gets what he needs as treatment for his mouth. He was the one who created the mold for him at the last appointment and he is who we will see on about a weekly basis until his first surgery making necessary adjustments to the NAM.

Dr. Granger showed us the process of the different tapes. One set of tape is cut to the size of a nickel and placed in front of the ears. The other set of tape is wrapped around the rubber bands which holds the NAM in place and keeps it tight. He tested the NAM inside Jonathan. It needed some filing down to fit just right. He left the room to return several times until it fit just right. The part of the tape with the rubber bands slips over it. He calls it "baby headgear" and looks about like that sort of thing too.

Once it has a good fit, we leave it in and are free to go. The NAM, which is sort of like a retainer basically, has to be removed to be cleaned about 4 times a day. The white tape needs to be changed 2-3 times a day. The nickel sized tape comes off about once a week and we leave it off to allow his skin to breathe for about 3 hours. We were warned Jonathan would fuss a lot the next few days. His tongue which is used to going up into the roof of his mouth now has to learn to go forward. But we were also warned that at the end of this process, once we remove it, he will hate it because he will be so used to it.

So far, he cries as he learns to eat from his bottle differently with something new in the way. He has been fussier and fights it a bit. I have been holding him for about 5 hours now and he refuses to allow me to put him down, even to type this blog. But that is okay as I know babies don't keep. I don't mind it one bit. And this is where I will leave you for now. We watch and wait to see how his mouth transforms with this device before he starts the surgeries in the coming months.

(loving on their brother)

(not happy with this thing!)

The Journey Ahead

We would like to have you all welcome Jonathan Luke into our lives. As fast as the time has gone these past few weeks, I have not had the chance to do very much updating. The time I do have is centered around feedings for Jonathan, the other children, trying to prepare for the holiday madness, and so on. I am sure there will be grammar errors within this post and a lot of non-intended comical remarks due to sleep deprivation. However, I will do my best to fill you all in.

Our little guy arrived in November and has already had quite a story to tell. As we expected, Jonathan was born with a severe bilateral cleft lip and palette. We have had several doctor's appointments already involving weight checks, feeding evaluations, dental evaluations, and overall milestone checks. His feedings are going fairly well. I exclusively pump, which has been a different challenge. He eats using a special bottle by Medela (aka: Haberman bottle).

On the roof of his mouth is an ulcer that is quite common for babies that have a cleft palette. We are supposed to apply a water-based ointment to it to help the tissue before he has his first surgery. He has a retracted jaw that they think he might grow out of with time. CHOA at Scottish Rite (Children's Hospital of Atlanta) shared with us that it's actually to his benefit as it is less likely he will swallow his tongue. Nonetheless, we keep him upright as much as possible at a 45-degree angle, most importantly during and after feedings.

So I pump and feed him with the bottles which takes time. He can't swallow as easily so he has a medium flow on his bottle which allows him not to take too much in. We have to be patient and allow lots of time for him to swallow and breathe. He oftens spits up or has it coming out of the opening of his nose if we aren't careful. In addition, he can swallow a lot of air which is another reason to take our time with the feedings. The Craniofacial Clinic at CHOA is very impressed so far with his weight gain as that is often one of the biggest challenges to start. If I were to guess, I would say he's somewhere around 9 1/2 lbs already and he was born at 7 lbs. 15 oz. So this is a huge praise to God that Jonathan can eat so well given his circumstances.

We met with the surgeon a couple of weeks ago who said that Jonathan will need 8 surgeries until he's 21 years old. The first two surgeries take place within the first year of life. First, he will have the lip surgery around 5 months of age. Second, he'll have the palette surgery around 9 months of age. The next surgery will be around age 3/4 after he has been evaluated for speech. Around age 8/9, Jonathan will have a bone graft surgery. This is supposed to be a big one and also very painful. If you have kept up with Duck Dynasty, Mia Robertson, recently had this surgery a year or so ago.

After we met with the surgeon, we met with the orthodontist. He created a molding and had it fitted into Jonathan's mouth as they are making a retainer like device out of it called the NAM (nasal alveolar molding). We go back on the 30th of this month to have it put in. Jonathan will wear this until his first surgery. The purpose of the NAM is to pull everything as close together as they can get it before his lip surgery. This has several purposes such as to reduce scarring, improve the appearance of his lip, create more for the surgeon to work with, and it can also help with feedings.

While we were there at this appointment, we met another lovely couple with a 5 month old daughter. She was getting ready for her surgery in a couple of weeks. Their daughter was born with a unilateral cleft lip and palette. They were just ahead of us in this game and were a great source of information to gather from as we talked. Even more, we found out they are a military family and were deployed overseas to the same area as Mike at the same time. We are amazed at the people we've come into contact with and met so far in this new adventure.

As for now, Jonathan has been wearing special tape to help with the area that sticks out to put pressure on it and bring it down. Once he gets the NAM in a couple of days, it will help even more. I can already see some improvement with the taping. I am taking lots of pictures of this whole process and look forward to making an album for him as he goes through it all so he can look back on it.

I am happy to report that not only is Jonathan an excellent eater, he also sleeps well. He doesn't even know he has a cleft so it's really all the same to him as anyone else. We know that having the surgeries is just part of the process. We know that he will endure so much more than just a quick cosmetic fix. Jonathan will have a journey ahead of him with teeth issues, speech issues, and even hearing issues. As we head into this, we ask that you pray for him. We ask that you pray for his surgeries and treatments. We know that God brought us on this journey for a reason. The story for our little guy is just beginning. And the fact that we get to be apart of it, despite the challenges, is actually pretty cool.

When we were picking out a name for our little guy, I was sitting in church one week. Our church was having a healing service. They read from the book of John and I kept thinking of that name. When the music came on, our little Jonathan was doing leaps in my womb and I couldn't quit weeping. I can't describe it other than that I know God was speaking to me through this service at that time. The only thing I could think of was the story of when Mary went to Elizabeth after she found out she was pregnant with Jesus. Elizabeth was pregnant with John the Baptist and he moved in her womb. This hit me and I realized our little boy needed to have the name, Jon. Jonathan means "gift of God" and Luke means "light bearing." Our new baby is definitely a gift and I know he will bring the light of Christ to the world.

As we journey ahead with doctor's appointments, surgeries, and care, I pray God allows us to journey closer to Him in the process. I pray He not only brings healing to Jon Luke's cleft but also healing to many hearts around him, including our own. I pray that God brings us closer as a family and uses us to share this story in a wonderful way.

Blessings Through the Storms

It's hard to believe we have a month left until our newest little guy joins our family. Without a doubt, these next few weeks will fly by quickly as we prepare our home and continue with our every day life events. I am really looking forward to having a Thanksgiving baby this year. We have so much to be thankful for and this little guy is definitely near the top of the list this year.

We've made our visit over to the Center for Craniofacial Disorders in Atlanta at the Children's Hospital at Stride Rite. From our visit, we gathered lots of information on what to expect with having a child born with a bilateral cleft lip and palette. He will have anywhere from 5-9 surgeries over the course of his life along with many appointments at Children's Hospital for issues like speech, feeding issues, his teeth, and even his ears. But we are glad to have such a great facility close-by. 

Soon after he is born, he will have a NAM (Nasoalveolar Molding Device) created for him that will be inserted by the orthodontist at Children's Hospital. He will wear it up to 6 months before he has his first surgery for his lip. This is a new device that is showing great improvement in those born with cleft lips/palette reducing their need for as many future surgeries. He will need to go in weekly for an hour long appointment to have it re-inserted by the orthodontist. In addition, we will need to change the taping on it several times a day (learn more here).  

(NAM device)

Our little guy will be seen for feeding as not having a closed palette will mean he doesn't have the normal suction that most babies have to be able to eat. It's like trying to drink out of a straw with a hole in it . He will most likely have to use special bottles for eating and there can be issues with him gaining weight. We do not know the severity of the palette and won't know until he is born. So a lot of this really depends on the size of his opening in his palette and how he will do with his feedings. 

Lately, I have reflected on how this has all come together for our family. Last January, Mike and I came to Atlanta to see if this would be a place we would be interested in moving to for his new job. There were a handful of options and this was one of them. Immediately upon arriving, we fell in love with the area. Finding this area where we are is a real gem. We loved the people, the atmosphere, and the family friendly environment. With only having been here for 36 hours on our little getaway, we had a strong feeling that this was where we needed to be as a place we could settle for our future. 

At the time, we knew our family wasn't done yet. We kept hearing God's voice in having another one and we listened. A month later, I became pregnant and now we are about to have this sweet little guy. We had no idea he'd be born with cleft nor did we know we'd be so much in love with him already. Our children are all aware of his condition and love him so much already too. But one of the biggest praises is that I feel like God brought us here because He knew of our needs to be near a great facility that could treat our son's cleft. 

Often lately, as I read all about caring for a baby/child with cleft, I feel overwhelmed by it all. I think of it as a continuous list or if it were things that needed to be done at all once. I tend to be a list girl who gets things crossed off after completion. I like to be organized and plan ahead. What is tough for me is to sit back and wait on what God's plans are instead of mine. In my mind, I think, "Let's get this taken care of and it'll be one less thing to worry about." 

But what if I just stopped worrying about the things to come and let God handle it? Why can't I surrender it all to Him knowing full well that He already has it all figured out? Time and again, God has shown His faithfulness to our family. 

Just last week, the days had been tiresome and Mike was gone everyday. Between homeschooling, cleaning house, and trying to get the yard up to speed with all the leaves that had been falling, I was beginning to fall apart. One of our neighbors saw us working outside in the yard and the very next night, knowing that Mike had been gone, surprised us with a huge meal. It couldn't have come at a better time as we were running low on food, it was dinner time, and I wasn't sure how I could get my exhausted pregnant self out the door with six children to purchase food. God always knows our needs and through a very generous neighbor, we were taken care of when we really needed it. 

It's hard to see the blessings we receive in our lives. Sometimes, it's easier to find all the things going wrong and stay unhappy. But when we change our attitude, we can sit back and think about the good things that have come along. Today was another rough day and I was feeling overwhelmed. Then the kids stepped up by helping with chores. That made this tired mother smile. And to top it off, after I put the twins to bed in their separate rooms, my daughter sneaked through the joining bathroom between their rooms and climbed next to her twin brother to go to sleep. I couldn't help but smile. 

In the words of Julie Andrews, "When the dog bites. When the bee stings. When I'm feeling sad. I simply remember my favorite things." And truly with those happy thoughts, we can once again be reminded of how blessed we all are in our lives, even through the storms.