Friday, June 12, 2015

Weight of the World

Sometimes I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. Two of my children are fighting a daily battle with severe eczema and food allergies that some of the top doctors in the country cannot find ideas for their relief. Day and night, they come to me crying their hearts out while scratching and bleeding over every inch of their entire bodies.

It hurts.

It not only hurts them but it hurts me. Nothing I do can take the misery away from them. Not even for a short time will it really disappear.

They rarely sleep through the night without waking up screaming in agony for more medicine. During the daytime, we stop frequently with whatever we are doing to moisturize them as best we can when they fall to the floor to itch and cry. Because of their condition, their lives are far from normal. They have to stay as bottled up in our safe environment with certain temperatures, scent-free enclosures, while serving specific foods that won't kill them.

When we do enter the world, people look at them with fear as though they carry the chicken pox or some other undesirable disease. It's always pointed out and my son looks down to the floor with a face of embarrassment over what he feels to be abnormal. It breaks my heart.

We've tried EVERY over-the-counter, prescription, and natural medication out there for them. It still stings. It still hurts. The pain still lingers on. The itch will not go away. They are miserable and have felt it every day of their life.

Many a nights I have cried myself to sleep. I have poured out my heart and prayed for some kind of relief... any kind of relief. My soul cries out to Him wishing for things to get better. I know He hears me and I know He wants the best for my children. I have prayed and cried to God wandering why the length of their suffering has to exist.



We are all fighting a battle. This battle can range from illness, disease, chronic pain, depression, acceptance, fear, and more. We can't give up. God hears our every cry, sees our every tear, and knows our every thought.

The suffering we face from the dynamics of life can go two ways. It can either break us till we fall or carry us to Him. We have to make a choice. Do we choose to trust in Him? Or do we give up? If we know that He has a purpose for us, whether we see it or not, we can move forward.



My tears may continue to fall at night when I hit the pillow. But His tears for what the world has done while turning our backs on Him are much bigger. I can get through this only with Him and I can keep praying for a miracle.


12 comments:

  1. Oh Carrie, I just tried writing a comment and I think it got lost in cyber space. If you're reading this twice, I apologize. My heart hurts for you as your mama heart aches for your children. I pray that you would find relief from Christ who bears our burdens as you carry your children's to their maker. Bless you, my friend.
    Always, Leah, your five minute friday friend. (I think I remember your blog from our FB 31 dayers support group. Glad to see you again!)

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    1. Hi Leah! It's nice to see you again as well. Thank you for your sweet prayers!

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  2. Oh friend! My heart aches for your kiddos. It is so hard too when people see and assume the worst. Prayers that you can find some healing for them. Also yes it is important to trust in God alone for God does provide!

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    1. Thank you, Tara, for always providing words of encouragement!

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  3. I pray you, your children, and your entire family persevere in holding tight to Christ. The cross is truly painful.

    Drusilla Barron
    http://lovedasif.com

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    1. Thank you so much, Drusilla! I appreciate your sweet prayers and kindness.

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  4. This is heartbreaking! I am saying a prayer for your kiddos, and for you! Stopped in from the FMF.

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    1. Oh how I appreciate those prayers, Barbie. I am so glad you stopped by today! I love reading your blog often too. You are a really great writer.

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  5. I'm so sorry to hear this, Carrie. Having to watch your children endure is even harder than enduring yourself. I will pray for some relief!
    Blessings,
    Elizabeth
    www.blessedbeyondthemess.com

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    1. Thank you for the prayers, Elizabeth!

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  6. Carrie, you are an amazing mom. I'm not sure how you both do it sometimes. Please give everyone hugs, kisses and love from me!! Please remember that God wants you to take care of YOU as well!!

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    1. I will definitely give them the hugs and kisses from you! And you are so right. I need to take care of myself too. We miss you!

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