Tuesday, February 21, 2017

When We Meet in the Middle

When you step into someone's home or involve yourself in their life, there are things you must know. Every person has their personal space. And with that space comes a fence with a gate. The first step to entering is knocking on the gate door. Do not open it on your own. Never cross through the yard before permission has been granted. Sometimes, people don't want what you have to offer or need the flowers trampled on with the hurried ways of your persistent feet. Let the owner be the guide of their surroundings. Let them be the one to make the calls and decisions of what happens in their home. You are not there to change their minds or shove what you want onto them. Go with the flow of what happens.

Sometimes we feel we must insert our opinions and advice. Sometimes we might disagree with their ways and insist on doing things our own way. Surely, they want the help. They must not know as much as we do so we must have it our way so they can learn from us. NOPE!

Relationships must meet halfway across the street. Unless they have reached out for your hand to come over to their direction, stay in the middle. Stepping further without necessary only brings manipulation and control. Those ways are toxic and unhealthy to the relationship. And if it continues in that direction, it's time to put an end to that behavior. No one should grant themselves permission to take over, especially in one's home. And if you want that relationship to grow, be patient instead of overtly direct. Be humble and practice withholding one's tongue to refrain from unnecessary critic.

Your home and your space belongs to you. If anyone continues to manipulate or control that space, it's time to distance yourself from that person. Even more, never come between a family. Don't speak badly of one's spouse to the other. Don't come in between the children and parents. They are a bond that cannot be broken. Those things you say will only show your true colors. If you are in someone else's home or space, go by their rules. Never go by your own.

If you are the one setting the boundaries, be willing to stretch farther sometimes. While setting boundaries is necessary, it's also important for your well-being. At the same time, be willing to expand your boundaries if it helps you to expand your love. Don't build a higher fence unless it's necessary to keep away from the toxic visitor. Most importantly, learn to recognize what is healthy for your relationships and what is not. If the boundless person continues to show lack of respect, it's time to bow out gracefully from that relationship.