Thursday, August 25, 2016

When We Stay Humble

It's such a freeing feeling when we can live our lives in a way that doesn't come across that we have everything together. When we admit our weaknesses to others and share the realness of life, we connect in a deeper way. I've been in relationships with others where it seemed like we could never share on a deep level our authenticity. Everything came across as "fluff" and "perfection." And do you know where that got us? Not very far. In fact, those kinds of relationships leave a person feeling like they are very neutral and fake.

God wants us to put it all out there. He knew we needed community and honesty. He didn't create any of us to be perfect or prideful. It's all pretend as no one can be perfect, except Christ. We all have our strengths, but also our failures. And when we are willing to admit it with others, we can have better conversations and much more enjoyable relationships.

I love it when I go to someone else's house and they don't feel like it needs to look "Pinterest Perfect" just for my arrival. I know they live there and will have bills out on a counter top. Or they have some dishes near the sink. I love it when it's real life and there's no need to feel perfect. I can look around and say, "Yep, that's my life every day!"

I love it when someone doesn't have to have it all right. They don't need to look, act, or be perfect in order to be them. They can admit their screw-ups and moments when they had meltdowns. We can both laugh and agree that we've had similar days. When we are real and genuine, we can relate. When we sit there and point fingers at others in their missteps as though they weren't perfect, it becomes superficial.

I read this quote recently that said, "True humility is staying teachable, regardless of how much you already know." When we are around someone who always has to be right, thinking they are higher than others, and act prideful towards others, they can be a real drag. There is no chance of even being responsive as it's too difficult to make any conversation with them. Those who know something already or even think they know will still listen to others. It's like speaking with a child and when they are excited to share their knowledge, a good parent listens while getting excited along with them, even if the parent already knows it. If a parent begins to talk over them, showing they knew already or tries to correct the child's moment, it's a real disappointment.

I have this wonderful Aunt who always listens and gets excited when another person talks. She is very empathetic and understanding when you talk with her. She's an easy person to have a relationship with, but also someone I feel that I can go to when I'm unsure of something as I know she carries with her great advice. This is the kind of relationship we all desire. To be heard and to be real is the best kind.

One of the reasons I started this blog was to be authentic. People assume that being a mother of a large family means that I have it all together. There are many days I fall apart. I have meltdowns and moments where I don't even know how to handle a situation. I get anxious, worry, and have so many imperfections, it's actually kind of funny.

In a world filled with social media and sharing only our best, it's easy to assume everyone else out there has it all together. Instead, we need to admit we are all messing up every day. We all have kids who have inconvenient meltdowns or cereal nights where we just don't feel like cooking. Or we have days where we feel like the monster from the other side. But we also, recover and pick back up our own two feet. And until we readily admit we just don't fit that expected, perfect mold that the world wants us to think exists, our relationships with others will sink.

It's easy to get in that prideful mode as we all at times think we are superior to others in one way or another. If I were honest, if someone compliments our family's manners in public, I sometimes get a little prideful thinking our family is something else. I really have to remember that although I just love my family, we also have our troubles too. In order to build better relationships, we must admit fault, even to one another. And then move back to being humble.

So next time you feel like you need to have it all together, DON'T!!! Having humility in our relationships with others makes us honest and true. And with that, we will be a better friend to others.