Monday, April 13, 2015

Relief From Our Suffering

"It's not fair! I wish on every first star that I see every night, every dandelion that I blow, and I even make every birthday wish one where I won't be itchy anymore. I hate eczema. I don't understand why I have to be itchy every day. It never gets better," cries my five year old after his evening shower.

Tears welled up in the corners of my eyes.

"Lord, I pray that he can just have some kind of relief... any kind of relief. I beg you to heal him. Take away this suffering."

My son has severe eczema and food allergies. Everyday he wakes up with scratching spells so bad that he bleeds all over his entire body. He cannot make it through the night without coming out to get more medicine on. We've been to many doctors all over the country (UCLA, Boise, Dallas, etc.) and he's tried every sort of medicine, herbal remedy, and every type of relief possible.  He carries his epi-pens with him everywhere. He has reactions to foods often, even with how careful that we are and has been drugged up with Benadryl on almost a daily basis. He is homeschooled and has to pass on many social events with food as he is often left out.  He cries when others are eating things in front of him that he can't have.

Many times, I have shouted out to the Lord wondering why he has to endure so much pain and suffering. I have tried to seek answers as to these conditions he was born with in every way possible. For years, I blamed myself having possibly "done something wrong during pregnancy." I have learned this is who God made him to be.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

I can't rely on my understanding of this situation. I have to trust God through it all. He created my son this way with a purpose beyond anything I may ever comprehend.

Romans 8:18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 

God may heal my son of eczema and food allergies. Or this may be something he has to live with and work around his entire life. Realistically, this will most likely be a lifetime battle. Although, when the Lord welcomes him home someday, these sufferings will be nothing compared to the joy he will receive being in our Savior's arms. That in and of itself is something we live for in our lives focusing on those arms wrapping around us through those hard moments.

Can I share something pretty amazing? This precious boy is a BIG hugger. He hugs me all of the time and tells me I am his best pal. That feeling alone makes my heart burst with the love he gives to me. And you know what else? He loves his daddy, his siblings, and God. Despite the challenges he has been given, I have always known that God was going to use this child for something pretty amazing. I don't know what it will be or if I'll ever live to see it. I just know that God has great plans for him.

When I was pregnant with him, they spotted bumps on his head and even suggested he might be lacking a chromosome in his develop. The doctors actually suggested abortion to me. I was appalled that they would expect me to give up so quickly on him.  What's even more amazing is that after doing some higher definition ultrasounds the bumps disappeared. After birth, it was realized that those enlarged bumps were his enlarged lymph nodes which can still get incredibly huge when he's battling his everyday allergies.

I can't imagine life without this precious child. He has had to face some incredible challenges along with his younger sister who also has many of these challenges too. Together, they are brave, intelligent, and pretty cool. More importantly, our faith as a family has grown through a lot of what we've been through, these challenges included.

James 1:2-4 Consider  it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

I continue praying for a miracle through all of these hard times. And I will keep sharing God's love to my children the best that I can.

Heavenly Father, I pray for a moment of relief for my son and daughter's food allergies and eczema. I thank you for the gifts you give to us and I pray that you give me the strength to help them through these hard moments always pointing them back to you. Through my struggles of understanding, I pray that you remind me that your ways are good and your mercy endureth forever. Amen.

1 comment:

  1. I'm praying that same pray with you Carrie! God is a God of miracles; it's His business! I love your heart!