Friday, July 31, 2015

Don't Try So Hard!


As someone who loves real time, quality relationships, I struggle when I get ignored. I love to encourage, sending letters/cards to others. I love to make time for others even if it means less sleep on my end which is already something I unreasonably get with six children and one on the way. But relationships matter and people matter to me. 

When people shut me out or stop responding to me, it's a huge letdown. I tend to want to keep trying at a relationship, building it with them even when they don't seem to care.

Something that really hurts deep down inside of me is when I feel like I don't matter. I feel like their non-response is their way of not even noticing my existence. When people don't seem to even find a second to respond to a simple word of anything I try to say or do, it hurts.

Every once in awhile, I get a wake up call when I am reminded that maybe they don't want to have a relationship with me. I know others are busy and things happen with life. But I have to remember that I can't try so hard. I have to give the situation over to God and let Him handle it. I've done my part and I will be there for that person should they change their mind. 




Until then, God takes my hurts and pain as He whispers to me, "Listen my child. I am here. I have never left you. I have never forsaken you. I am jealous for you. Yet, you don't always have the time for me. Return to me, oh my daughter. You have not been forgotten." 

"Yes, Lord! I am listening. I have been careless of my time spent with you. You are the most important relationship. You are the one I need to put all my focus on. Everything with everyone else will fall into place as it should be. Perhaps, it's necessary for me to step back and give them space. I will let go of them. And I will turn my focus back to You.

So, when you feel doubt rising inside of you or that maybe things aren't working out with your friendship with another, remember to give yourself a break. Think about how much effort you've put into your relationship with your Heavenly Father. Remember the times you ignored Him. Just as He has forgiven you, forgive others for their mistakes too. And be patient! It may be part of the plan. 

8 comments:

  1. Quality relationships are very important to me as well. I have noticed it's not always about the desire to spend time with others it's often about time. Some of my closest friends are very busy and I also have to remeber it's not personal! Good post and keep investing in others lives

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  2. Quality relationships are very important to me as well. I have noticed it's not always about the desire to spend time with others it's often about time. Some of my closest friends are very busy and I also have to remeber it's not personal! Good post and keep investing in others lives

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  3. Your family is beautiful and it's clear that you share that proper noun - Relationship. Time really can be a factor in relationship building and maintaining, not just lack of time, but how we choose to invest our time. Huh? For example, my husband is a solid introvert. I choose to honor the fact that he's spent all of his people-bucks at work. By the time he comes home, he needs the home to be a refuge. It sometimes makes it difficult for me to build relationship with others. Not complaining, just a fact. Consequently, I try to make sure that the time I DO spend with others is positive and encouraging. I want them to know that I enjoy their company and listening to their stories. I was intrigued by your blog title, and am glad I stopped by to visit from FMF. I hope you enjoy a wonderful weekend.

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  4. Carrie, my sweet "Skittles" friend! You amaze me at how well you stay in contact. I love our growing relationship despite the distance. You are so loved by our family and so many more...and yes, our Father in heaven is constantly whispering your name for that deep relationship. Love you friend!!! (Thanks for the yummies!)

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  5. Oh friend, we are so much alike. I've always had a hard time when relationships end and/or change. Love you friend!!

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  6. I am the same way. Thank you for the reminders in this post!

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  7. I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum. I expect most relationships to be the gift of the moment and am surprised when they last longer. It's always a genuine surprise when people want to continue a relationship with me. Being an introvert probably doesn't help either. But I've found quality relationships with those people who keep coming back, who understand that I need to be invited for a long, long time before I feel comfortable inviting myself.

    I'm glad you are so forgiving with open arms for those who have wandered away. Perhaps some are like me. Others don't know how to value relationships; I pray we all learn. Quality relationships (community) are vital.

    Drusilla Barron
    http://lovedasif.com

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